Helping Your Teen Cope With Stress
Stress comes in many forms. It can be anxiety before a test, a burdensome load of homework every night, or a big game on the weekend. It can be dealing with family conflict or difficult peer relationships. It can stem from social upheavals due to moving or starting a new school, a death in the family, sibling leaving for college, or parental divorce.
While some stress is necessary and good – it keeps us out of danger and helps us to do our best in high-stakes situations – it can be harmful as well. Stress causes physiologic changes in the body, particularly if we are exposed to high levels of stress for long periods of time. Stress causes the release of powerful chemicals in the body, such as adrenaline, cortisol, and oxytocin. These chemicals affect the brain and body in different ways and turn on the flight or fight response. Prolonged exposure to these chemicals can lead to a “toxic stress response” where the body basically gets stuck in survival mode.
There is infinite value in learning to cope with stress in a healthy way. Older children are not too young to learn, and it is essential for teens to be equip to deal with stress.
Keep Communication Open
Be sure to talk with teens regularly about their life – school progress, friend relationships, peer interactions, sports endeavors, family matters. Teens are notoriously private and averse to parental conversations, but it is worth the effort to continue to engage them. Be a sounding board for frustrations and concerns, and make sure your teen knows you are there to help.
Teens may feel that dealing with stress is abnormal, or a sign of weakness or ineptitude. They may believe that feeling stressed means they are “not doing enough” or “not doing it right,” when in fact they need to know that stress is normal but should be managed in healthy ways.
Practice Self-Care
- Sleep – good quality AND good quantity of sleep are essential to self care and management of stress. Teens should routinely get 8-10 hours or more of sleep at night, though unfortunately many of them do not. Encourage your teen to get homework and activities done in plenty of time to wind down in the evenings before bed. Most importantly, get them OFF their phones at least 30 minutes prior to bedtime, and keep phones out of bedrooms.
- Nutrition – a good balance of nutritious foods helps to balance the body and brain chemistry and ensure that teens have the energy to get through the day. Avoid large amounts of caffeine consumption, which can be avoided if they get enough sleep!
- Physical activity – moving the body and getting the heart rate up for an hour most days of the week improves sadness and anxiety levels. It releases natural endorphins and improves the ability to handle the body’s natural stress response.
- Relaxation – learning how to decompress and relax is vital to handling life in a healthy way. Help your teen learn methods of relaxation that work for them. Examples may be deep breathing, meditation, yoga, self-expression through art or writing, spending time with pets, listening to music, going for a walk or hike in nature.
Limit Social Media
Often, one of the biggest battles that parents have with their teens is over cell phone use and social media exposure. But it is a battle you must have and you must do your best to win. Social media has been demonstrated to increase anxiety and depression in teens, and can increase their stress levels accordingly. Teens who have limited time allowed on social media platforms have better mental health, PERIOD.
Be your teen’s advocate, even when they don’t understand and don’t want you to be. Set time limits, and even app limits. Be aware of how your teen is spending his or her time online. You can make a huge impact with your efforts.
Be Supportive
Home should be a safe space for teens. Ensure your teens know that you are there to support them, guide them, help them, and listen to them. Sometimes support means working together through a stressful problem to come to a good solution, while other times it means standing by their sides while they work through to an answer on their own. If your teen decides to scale back on activities in order to better manage levels of stress, support that. American families are often over-booked with school, sports, music, and other extra curricular activities. Sometimes it is necessary to step back and allow for more room to breathe and recuperate.
Know When to Seek Professional Help
Stress is a normal response to life events and can be managed effectively, but sometimes it is accompanied by or may be masking an anxiety or depressive disorder. If you feel that your teen is experiencing abnormal levels of stress, or if your teen is suddenly acting more withdrawn and not finding pleasure in things previously enjoyed, then it is time to seek help. Talk to your Pediatrician and find out what options are available to help your teen.
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